Funny email from Aunt J****

I may be retiring------I am the lucky winner of
250,000.00-
Friday, August 22, 2008, 5:47 AM

I got a phone call from "Global International
Sweepstakes Unlimited", telling me that I have Won A sweepstakes
from Walmart
(that I don't ever remember entering-- I just love those
anonymous entries.)
Of Course I was Happily surprised. They wanted to meet with me
as soon as possible
to give me the Large Check. I replied to,just mail it
please ( I wanted a few
more days of my average lifestyle to last, of course)
" I think"-
Through the broken English, that it was too LARGE to just send it in
the mail. "No thanks"
I replied. (I guess the Foreigners have no faith in the
United States Post
Office--unless they are shipping that powered poison,
Anthrax.)
"Mam, What don't you understand? Would you like to
talk to my
manager."..."Of course ...get your other buddie who also
cannot pronounce any
English syllables."........ He again tells me I am a WINNER.
I asked for HIS
information, Name of the Company, address, phone number.
(That was a 20 minute mistake) they weren't that good with syllables, they slaughtered through every
painfull number......1 876-490-2684 (I think )
10 Peach Tree Dr., Las Vegas. (I think),as thier were no
high school courses offered "foreigner half-ass scam," at that time.
But on there behalf,
I did fail an English class once.
Anyway he still wants to give me that Money...they
cannot send through the
mail because they have a contract with a courier( which I
would have to pay..$$$)
I said why? I don't have a contract with him --you do.
again- "Mam what don't you understand??????"
"EVERY FREAKING THING THAT"S COMING OUT OF YOUR FREAKING ACCENTED MOUTH?????"

They need to come to my home for a presentation, to
give me the Large
Check.... and I had to pay the courier or I would have to
pay Taxes, they could
save me $16000.00 in taxes.......(You really think the IRS
likes me that much.)
He could have someone ay my home between 2-4 today.
That foreigner thief knew my address, compliments of any telephone book.
I told him, "I was not
comfortable with the arrangement of the Scam, and could
they please go to my
husband's workplace to finalize the scam there."

"No Mam".

I finally said- "I have your number---When I want to
collect the Scam money I'll let you know................"

After I hung up, I got a little worried because they
were so persistent on coming to my home, and
knew my address..... I wanted to take
a shower but was to afraid I would get stabbed!
(ya know the movie scene.)

I tried calling the BBB, thier mailbox was full, so no
more room for my message. I went online to check out the information he supplied--Like I would
FIND "J**** HERE's the SCAM.org"
I found a website to report scams, it was the FBI,
which of course no
one apprantly works at there appointed desk--so leave a
message--Which I did.- 2
hours later I did recieve a return call from an agent. He
said he knew of Global International, not to be worried about them having my name or address, it was
public record in any phone book. As for them not wanting to
meet me own my terms, should be a red flag. I told him "I was not planning on meeting with them." He said "He thought that was Smart."
(He doesn't know me on those menopausal retarded
days)....................
And that was that.
So this poor average ass will be at
work tomorrow.